Why Does My Human Pickup My Poop?
Ah, the walk. A time for sniffing, exploring, and occasionally claiming a tree or hydrant as your own. But just as you’re mid-stride, basking in the glory of a perfectly executed squat, it happens: your human pulls out the dreaded poop bag. Why? Why do they insist on scooping up this masterpiece you’ve so carefully deposited? Let’s dig into the mystery of this bizarre behavior.
1. They’re Obsessed With Cleanliness
Humans have this odd thing about cleanliness. They wipe, mop, scrub, and sanitize things that were just fine a moment ago. Apparently, leaving poop around doesn’t align with their strange obsession with keeping the ground free of what they call “yuck.” We call it art. They call it a health hazard. Tomato, tomahto.
2. They Think It’s Their Responsibility
Humans are pack creatures, and for some reason, they believe they’re responsible for everything we do—including our poop. It’s like they think they need to clean up after us to maintain their weird, human version of “honor.” You’d think carrying a little bag of our business would hurt their dignity, but nope—they just keep on scooping.
3. It’s Some Sort of Weird Human Law
Rumor has it, there are rules about poop. Something about “public health” and “common courtesy.” Honestly, I stopped listening after I heard “courtesy.” We dogs are free spirits. If I want to mark the sidewalk as mine, I should be able to! But humans? They follow rules, even if it means walking around with a smelly bag like some bizarre trophy.
4. They’re Just… Embarrassed?
Sometimes, I think they’re embarrassed by the whole thing. They always glance around, making sure no one’s watching as they scoop. Newsflash, human: everyone knows what’s in the bag. The jig is up. Just own it already.
5. They Think It’s Good for the Environment
I overheard my human once, muttering about “being eco-friendly.” Apparently, leaving poop around is bad for the environment. Something about rain and runoff and gross bacteria. But isn’t it natural? It’s biodegradable, right? My poop is basically organic fertilizer! But no, they don’t see it that way.
So, Why Do They Do It?
The truth is, humans are strange. They scoop our poop, carry it around like some kind of weird prize, and pretend it’s normal. But you know what? If it means more walks, more sniffing, and more adventures, I guess I’ll let it slide. (Pun intended.)
So next time your human crouches down with that crinkly bag and does their duty, just give them a wag of appreciation. They may be weird, but they’re our weird.
